Artist Statement: "Forgiveness is For Giving Yourself"

Video Statement (if preferred): Available Here!
Artist Statement:

My new song “Forgiveness Is For Giving Yourself” is inspired by the mythology of the Goddess  Dhumavati, who's story I was taught by Rodasi Campbell and Leslie Powers.
Dhumavati  (Sanskrit: धूमावती, Dhūmāvatī, literally "the smoky one")  she is one of the Mahavidyas, a group of ten Tantrik goddesses.  She is portrayed as an old, ugly widow, she's pictured with her chariot, horseless, in a cremation ground.

Dhumavati is said to manifest herself at the time of cosmic dissolution (pralaya) and is "The Void" that exists before creation and after dissolution. Her thousand-name hymn relates her positive aspects as well as her negative ones - she is described as a great teacher, one who reveals ultimate knowledge of the universe, which is beyond the illusory divisions, like auspicious and inauspicious. Her ugly form teaches the devotee to look beyond the superficial, to look inwards and seek the inner truths of life.

When my 3 year relationship recently ended, I wrote down various things I needed to let go of and burned them as I chanted to invoke Dhumavati's help.
Maybe this worked a little too well - in the aftermath of a breakup I lost my apartment, two cats, adulthood independence, a lot of money, physical items (mutual assets), confidence, and trust. WOW!! Ok Goddess I'm listening!!!

Suddenly all my chaos evaporated into this void of everything I knew, felt comfortable in. There was this emptiness of who I thought I was - instead of trying to change it, I'm learning to navigate it.
Within the void, I have gained self-forgiveness, freedom, insight, understanding of self, bravery, intuition skills, and a whole sisterhood of amazing women who have taught me how to dive deeper into my feminine HERstory.

I can denounce everything that wasn't my fault, and take accountability for what's mine to take.  I walked away feeling very angry at myself - "How did I let that happen? I should have seen it coming!"
For this anger I practice self-forgiveness, for giving myself to someone who didn't take the chance to heal themselves when they could have. 


Lyrics:

"The summer, the summer treats you well,

But tell, can you tell,

What the cave holds, what the cave holds, what the cave holds,

In the morning. 


Listen, listen when it speaks to you,

Believe the void, 

when it shows you to, when it shows you to, when it shows you to

The work to do.


Where did all the time go?

Where did all the time go?


It's really not my job to do your work for you,

I've got my own, plenty of my own, waiting back at home. 

Forgiveness is forgiving yourself, for giving yourself,

To someone, who didn't take the chance, to heal themselves.


Where did all the time go?


It's really not my job to do your work for you,

I've got my own, plenty of my own, waiting back at home. 

Forgiveness is forgiving yourself, for giving yourself,

To someone, who didn't take the chance, to heal themselves.

Forgiveness is forgiving yourself, for giving yourself,

To someone, who didn't take the chance, to heal themselves"


Credits: 

Original composition and performance by Maya Elena

Video by Jeff Newcomer

Audio by John Baillie

Recorded and produced at Brave New Media in Minneapolis MN.